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Pulmonary embolism

It was not the first but second time, a warning, a touch with the genetic mortality of my father, who died aged 62 of s heart attack. I’m beating him at 65.

Reflecting there had been warnings I’d ignored, a shortness of breath, a thought, I must take up tennis this year, get my body together. But there had been a hiccup with michael, and all direction went to this. He’d been unhappy, I had not seen, he’d confided In his daughters who blocked me with a silence I did not hear . He had not talked to me, and we’d had such good communication. Until after Christmas from Texas. Time to take stock. The space of my bungalow too challenging, he returned to the UK and moved back to the town house of station road. It happened in this in between time.

I’d walked the dogs on Bungay common, interviewed for hopes and dreams project. Not felt on top of the world, a bit cold, and under the radar of life. Still I wanted to see the Bowie film st the cut, arranged to see Jo there. Come 6 a stabbing pain under right breast augmented. Texted jo, not well, no Bowie. She came anyhow. And thank god she did. I’d called 111, been advised to go to a and e, but had busy mills then and a codine, felt under control. Come midnight, I paced, could it lie down. Shallow breath. Fear. Jo drove. I holding onto front dash to stabilise roundabouts, and there are a lot between here and James Paget.

We were seen immediately, I given morphine, blood taken ECG monitored. Plurisy suspected, bout first a D dimmer test, and act scan. We played games, trying out the beds, the eye equipment, testing eye sight. High on no sleep, we were eventually seen by the sole doctor in charge.

Yes it’s a PE he confirmed using the acronym. A prescription of rivoroxin – for live – was presented. I posted with the for life caption on Facebook. Called Kevin who picked me up and drove me home.

Fire a lite. Jo resting, Theo had the dogs, sharing with land jo. The next two days, jo became my gate keeper. Organising the wave of giving and help, into meals on wheels. Lotti preparing a lasagna, toad in the hole. Serena coming around with crumble. Facebook post solicited responses from world wide friends, sharing their For Life stories.

It is a wake up call. The pain has subsided. The breath still shallow. I am still treading water, catching up. Pippa and I and the team held hopes and dreams workshop 1 today. I did not have enjoin joy, but enjoyed doing it. Feeling useful listening supporting lives. In this wood I must find my own , the space to see and be with friends, find the love of Brow, who is a stranger to me, as Ruffio cuddles up beside.

Time to order seeds , explore the land . Plant trees.

2 thoughts on “Pulmonary embolism”

  1. Oh Rachel, I am sorry to hear this – what a shock for you. It’s good to hear that you have lots of support – as you have been/are to others. Look after yourself. Take care, Pat x

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